Toddler temper tantrums: we've all seen the face-down flopping toddler at the grocery store: here's how to cope when YOUR kid is the flopper!
"MOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! NO!!!!!"
There are books that help parents handle the classic toddler temper tantrum. Experienced parents find that in addition to these helpful guides, a few things can help a mom and/or dad escape the nightmarish parental scene of a toddler flopping down on the ground and screaming in public. Chances are all parents will face this scene at one point or another- and there are some parents who face it everyday. Having some of the following tools in your parental kit may help cool the situation, whether it's a full-time flopper or a one-time freak-out.
Ignore It
This classic approach is difficult but often has favorable results. Easier to do at home than in a grocery store, one way to diffuse a volatile outburst is to simply walk away. Although a toddler may be shrieking and kicking, s/he usually notices when you are paying no attention. This will often snap the child out of the undesired behavior. They want your attention. If they are not getting it, they are usually intelligent enough to modify their actions in order to get it back.
Distract Them
If a parent has the opportunity to present a distraction (such as a passing tractor trailer, a bird, or in a worst-case scenario...a bottom-of-the-purse bank lollipop), this change of focus will sometimes cause the toddler to forget why they were throwing a fit and begin to pay attention to the new stimulus.
Get Quiet
Sometimes, if a parent is lucky, they can lower their voice to a near whisper in hopes that the toddler will quiet down to listen. This works with children of a slightly older age (i.e. those with whom you can negotiate). Stage whisper: "If you calm down, mommy will take you to the store to pick out a treat." Meeting screaming with more screaming will only create... more screaming.
Fight or... Flight
Often the only option a parent has is to scoop up the little drama king/queen and run for the hills. In church, a movie theatre or a Thanksgiving family dinner often this is the only choice, as it is impossible to ruin everyone else's experience by expecting them to tolerate the chaos. If you think the kid is annoying to you, imagine how Aunt Beth feels.
If your child is beyond some of these methods, it may be time to hit amazon.com or your local library in search of one or more of the following books:
Everything Parent's Guide to Tantrums: The One Book You Need to Prevent Outbursts, Avoid Public Scenes and Help Your Child Stay Calm, Joni Levine (Adams Media Corporation, 2005)
No More Tantrums: A Parent's Guide to Taming Your Toddler and Keeping Your Cool, Diane Mason et. al (McGraw-Hill, 1997)
The No-Cry Discipline Solution:Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums and Tears, Elizabeth Pantley (McGraw-Hill, 2007)
Most of all, the thing for parents to remember is that 'this too shall pass.' Before you know it, you'll be watching that tantrum-thrower tearing up the football field or band instrument competitors and you will wish they were a volatile yet loving toddler again.
Be patient!
